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this weeks 1020's designs

Thursdays tee design. Done by hand

Todays Tee

New bike design

Generational Parenting Divide

I just spent 9 days in Portland visiting family. And subsequently, I had some revelations regarding the generational divisions of parenting.
I realized that each generation acts and reacts differently to the obligation of parenting. They appear to operate out of a desire to cyclically overcompensate for their own relational deficiency.
My grandparents generation lived through the horror of the great depression. So when it came time to raise children they showed their love for them by providing financially. Though this was and is admirable, it left out father’s generation relationally lacking, yet financially sustained.
My opinion is that our parents generation overcompensated by raising their kids to be their comrades. And this is great honor. However, I think it creates an unnecessary obligation to be both our parent’s children as well as their friends. They spent so much time being involved and overly relevant that they didn’t develop their own long lasting friendships. I think this creates an unnecessary sociological obligation. It’s a challenging dichotomy to navigate and reconcile. And I am doing my best. But I am my parent’s son. And I have a difficult time feeling as if I am not letting them down (by being too close, and or too far away) I feel that in some ways they still have some growing up to do.
But I did grow up.
And consequently curious if I become a parent, how I will inherently overcompensate for this deviancy.

S.L. Photo logo

New Shirt Design

My Dreamcatcher

Seed Layout

CD design

non-reciprocal relationships

One of my goals for the New Year has been to let go of non-reciprocal relationships. This has proven to be a successful yet difficult paradigm to actively live out. I have naively attempted to sustain relationships over the years that have been unrealistic and consequently detrimental. And when they naturally start to fade, I have inorganically attempt to resuscitate them. The tragic reality is that perhaps I ought to let them fade. And I am learning to let them fade.
I believe this void I have tired to naively fill is subsequent to my parents divorce. Due to my recent lack of connection with family, I have sought to overcompensate vicariously through connection with people on the perimeter of my life. When perhaps I should merely connect with those closest to me.
This technological age that we are in forces us to keep in touch with perhaps more people then we ought to. Facebook, Twitter, Myspace ect (though, great in proper context); allows us the luxury of illusion to being connected. And it seems to self medicate a far greater need for true community. I don’t know how much it has allowed us to truly know and be known. It seems to paradoxically hybridize this version of acquaintanceship, that doesn’t lend itself to intimacy. And it has been an interesting sociological experiment to intentionally withdraw. And I hope it lends itself towards a grander connection with the people within my sphere that have a similar trajectory towards community and authentic connection.

This weekend

http://www.samuellippke.com/blog/

Salton Sea Trip

Job

This is a screen-shot of an email I received upon applying for a design job online. I think im going to get it.

OTL Tee

Off The Leaf

Philanthropy

Great posters

http://wellmedicated.com/inspiration/50-amazing-gig-posters-sure-to-inspire/

Everything costs something

Christianity and Art

Being a Christian artist has to be one of the most conflicting professions out there. Not because there is anything contradictory about being an art maker of faith. But mostly because of the way that church appears to view art makers.
It appears to me that Christians view all professions as equal and valid except the arts. I feel as if the only way a Christian is deemed valuable, is if they enable themselves to be used. Meaning their practice is perceived as valid if they work without compensation. To the contrary, my mechanic goes to my church, and I pay him. I don’t get a discount or anything of the sort. And I don’t feel that I deserve special treatment just because we both attend the same church. In similar regard, my barber goes to my church. And I also pay him. I pay him well.
But there is something about being a Christian artist that is not perceived in the same regard. I have been out of work for months. And while that is not the churches fault, nor there responsibility to employ me……….I still am consistently asked to do free design work, for Christians. And in many ways that’s fine. I welcome the opportunity to help others, with a glad heart. I am pleased to use what meager volume of talent I may or may not have. But at the end of the day there appears to be a clear delineation. Art is perceived to have lesser ontological value as other trades.
Throughout history Christians were always intrinsically intertwined with the perpetuation of art and culture making. Somewhere in the demise of the anti-intellectual movement, art was cast aside and perceived as nonsense; and or somehow secondary. Why did this shift occur? And if this is to change, our perception of image making must change. And I hope that one day the church will rally around art not merely in theory, but in practice. It seems to me that art and aesthetics have become increasingly popularized in mainstream culture. But this popularity is rooted mostly in perception than in practice. Perhaps one day a church will realize that they could live with one less paid pastor, in order to facilitate the fostering of arts in the kingdom.

"Put Down"

Tonight I realized the versatility of the phrase “put down.” When used in reference to a child, it means to take them to bed, and facilitate sleep. When used in reference to a peer, it means to disparage or belittle someone. However, when used in regards to a dog, it means to kill humanely, or put out of their misery. I believe this phrase is perhaps the most multifaceted of its kind. So in some contexts “put down” is an act of love. In other situations it is oxymoronic, malicious, and hateful. There is a wonderful irony in the variety of meanings it embodies. And sometimes I wonder if we ourselves embody such juxtapositions within our character. Please put me down.

Change

Thursdays design

Best Coffee Cup Design Ever

Loveseat

New Year

Right now Gods will feels like a riptide. At first, you don’t even know your in it. Then you panic. And swim as hard as you can towards shore, only to realize that your being swept further and further out to sea.
Over the past year I have failed at all the things in my life that I thought I could succeed at. Everything from careers, relationships, community, family, financial success; I have failed at all of them. I was raised with the gospel of prosperity, informing me that if I did the right thing, that everything would go swimmingly. The harder I swim towards shore, the farther away from me in becomes. So now I find myself compelled to reconsider my course of action.
So my goal for 09 is to allow myself to be swept out to sea, even though it seems insane. I am told that insanity is when you do the same things expecting them to yield different results. If this is true, then swimming harder is not the answer; but nether is drowning. And the peculiar things about Gods will is that by following it means I will be out to sea. I would rather be out to sea for the right reasons, than safely ashore for the wrong ones.
I am going to try and let go of all the naïve notions of what I thought life would be like. I am going to let go of the non-reciprocal relationships that I have inorganically attempted to sustain. And above all, I am going to try to concern myself with the development of my character rather than my perception. Soon this season will pass and all that will have mattered is how I kept myself afloat.

12 bikes that are not rideable

Snapshots from my drive to Oregon

Unemployment vs. Employment

So this week I applied for 2 jobs and interviewed for one. Then immediately following I finally decided to apply for unemployment, because ideals don’t feed you. Then after completing the process, I thought I would negotiate the difference in difficulty between the two. I have never been on unemployment before, so this is a first for me. But desperate times call for desperate measures. It’s humiliating.
It has been unbelievably difficult for me to find and keep work in the past 8 months. This week It took me an entire day to revamp my portfolio for my interview. The interview process also took about half the day. And it took several hours to fill out each application. I believe it must be more thorough than a credit check to buy a house.
To my dismay, I went online and looked up unemployment (http://www.edd.ca.gov/Unemployment/). The only criterion to deserve unemployment is to merely not work. You didn’t even need to speak English. The forms to fill out are available in 7 languages. It only took me about fifteen minutes on my computer to submit my application for unemployment. I get a check in the mail within 10 days. I don’t mean to sound entirely cynical in my overtly simplified analysis. Believe me, I am grateful to live in a country with a system in place to help those in need (meaning myself in this case). I also do realize that there are plenty of people living off of the system who have no option. But I am curious what kind of legacy our society is leaving behind when it’s easier to receive governmental subsidy than to work.

My design made on Black & Blue friday

This is my lucky quarter. I think I am going to buy something with it though.

Thanksgiving

Quite a few friends have extended generous invitations to spend Thanksgiving with them. And I greatly appreciate the gesture. But unfortunately, because of my parents divorce (roughly a year ago) I don’t really care for holidays. And I have had a difficult time articulating this paradigm to people.
I suppose it’s like having a favorite television show that you watch religiously; and having one of the 2 co-hosts quit. Holidays are like the show. The social climate is not the same. The show however, must go on. But chances are, that your desire to watch it will subside. The value is lost. And the show will never be the same. And perhaps it’s better to not even watch the channel where the show used to reside. Or perhaps I should abstain from turning on the television at all. Maybe it’s safer that way. The show typically goes off the air within a year or two of loosing one of the hosts. So I suppose I will just leave the TV off till then.

This is a journal entry I found on a foggy park bench overlooking the Ocean In Long Beach.

Home

This week I went home, and missed Long Beach soon after departing. I couldn’t help but wonder if that was homesick (in the most mild since of the term)? Im no longer homesick for the place I grew up. Does that mean I found a new home? It inevitably lead me too wonder which place I belong. Here? There? Both? Nether?
I heard once that home is where the heart is. Im not sure I know what that means. I also once heard that people wear their heart on their sleeve. If that’s the case, I did laundry before I left. I wonder if it came out in the wash.
Perhaps home is wherever you make it. Regardless, I don’t think I have made anything in a while. And I don’t feel all that inspired to make anything these days.

An outstretched hand may be there for the shaking or the taking.

I spent last weekend in Montana for a friends wedding. I left perplexed by the vast difference in there live as opposed mine (Montana vs. Sothern Cal). For example, My friend pays the same for a 2 story condo, what I pay for a room. Cost of living is so minimal, that there is no need to find a “career job.” This enables people to become passionate and find fulfillment in jobs most of us would view parenthetically. The people I met were truly passionate about occupations like being a barista or waitress. I realized that its not necessarily what you do, but what your passionate about. I am not about to up and move to a small town. But I am envious of deconstructing occupations as defining self worth monetarily. And I hope that perhaps I can find a job that I can be passionate about without focusing on upward mobility.

Why I do not support the Obey campaign

http://www.art-for-a-change.com/Obey/index.htm

Thursday design 2

Labor Day With George

I spent Labor Day with my 92 year old, adopted grandfather George. I was introduced to George several years ago while attending Biola. He caught wind that my friend and I needed a place to stay during the simmer, and offered the 2 extra rooms in his home. We moved in with he and his dogs to Uptown Whittier; and ended up staying a couple years.
He now lives in a nursing home because he is no longer able to take care of himself. Its truly paradigm shifting to see a man who was a teacher, mechanic, musician, solder, and world-traveler; no longer capable of independence. To this day he plays the grand piano for several hours to be a blessing to the other residence where he lives. In spite of his humiliating circumstances he continues to be graceful and winsome. Visiting him became a daunting reminder that we both enter and exit this world in the complete care of others. I only hope that somewhere between my in trance and exit that I can for a moment be as graceful and optimistic as George.

My Car

Ten Days

A lot has transpired in the last ten days. We had an 5.8 earthquake, and a couple shootings nearby. Then this weekend someone took the liberty to steal my catalytic converter off of my truck to sell on the streets of a few hundred dollars. After that, someone else stole my identity, and bought auto insurance (honestly, I couldn’t make this shit up). Then to top it all of my parents officially sold the house I grew up in, after finalizing their divorce this week.
In spite of it all, I am not recording all of this to facilitate self-pity, nor the pity of others. I’m merely bringing reference to the growing pains of life in an atrophying world. And I am once again reminded that the same God that allows it all to transpire is simultaneously the only one we have to turn to. And I find myself reverently conflicted by this dichotomy.

I designed the perfect laptop case

Parents

Similar to most young adults, I have found myself infuriated with my parents in recent days. Perhaps its their divorce after 30 years. Or their insistence on selling the home I grew up in as if it had no value. Or it could be the lingering sensation that I am relationally destined to fail. Moreover, it could be this invisible and inescapable genealogical bond that I have with people I who I cant change. The thing that I find most infuriating about them is that they remind me of myself. In them I see a magnified version of all of my frailties, vulnerabilities, childishness, neediness and stubbornness. I can’t help but wonder if I (and we) am helplessly staggering towards exemplifying their traits. Or if its possible to purge ones self of it all. Can you refuse to allow their behaviors and your instinct to manifest? When it comes from the individuals who taught you how to be human?
I would like to think so…………But the jury is still out.

Shades

New Graphics

Every individual who is a professional at something, is an amateur at something else. And for every activity under the sun, someone is the very best, and yet another is the very worst. And that is somehow very intriguing. Some days I hypothesize that I may be best at something I have never tried, and or the worst at something I am currently doing.

the will of God

People talk about the will of God as if it were a tightrope. Its small and thin, and if you fall there is a high risk of injury and or death. But I don’t see it that way. I think of it more like a numerical connect-the-dot picture (like you used draw as a kid). Your next step is inevitable; because you follow the numbers sequentially. But the way you choose to draw the line, gesture, couture and color is up to you. You can be as creative as you want. And within reason, it doesn’t really matter what you do. In the end, the image is a bit grander than your presuppositions allowed you to believe.

Planned Communities

I have been unable to find a job doing graphic art in the last few months. So, I took a job doing maintenance for an exclusive planned community in Orange County. As one can imagine, I am severely underutilized in my workplace. Thus, I am led to speculate about the social constructions and paradigms surrounding the inhabitation of these “planned suburban communities” (If such a thing can exist).
We as a society have an obsession with attaining safety and utopia within our lives. But safety is an unattainable illusion that inherently facilitates our demise. There is an overt lack of risk taken in choosing to inhabit one of these suburbs. We as a people, don’t appear to plant ourselves based upon where we can flourish, and facilitate the flourishing of others. Conversely, we place ourselves in contexts that enable a greater degree of comfort.
It also seems a bit paradoxical to even call these regions communities. I dont see any sense of “community” in these neighborhoods. The only physical manifestation of community apparent in suburbs is the proximity between homes. They are crammed next to one another like shipping containers traveling across the ocean.
The overall aesthetic in these communities lacks any sense of timelessness, or craftsmanship. There is no differentiation of structure or design risks taken. Subsequently, there is only uniformity and disregard for individuality. They have no history. They tell no story. All the trees are analogous and small. They were all planted in the same day, by the same gardeners. All the houses look the same, because they were all built in the same year, buy the same contractors.
I am not making a judgment that all this is inherently wrong. But, it makes me wonder what sort of legacy are we leaving behind. In on our quest for safety I am curious what we are hiding from? And what are we willing to omit from our lives to facilitate that quest? The structure of our lives is so referential of liturgically. And this is being exhibited within our structures of community (or the lack thereof), then what are we worshiping?

1 Year

This weekend marks the one-year point from graduation from college (Biola). And I can’t keep myself from being perplexed at all that has transpired in 365 days. There is an overt delineation between where I am, and where I thought I would be. In one years time, I graduated, interviewed for over 30 design positions, got hired, lost my job, lost my living situation, and lost my family; due to my parents divorce after 30 years together (after my Fathers secret decade of infidelity was discovered).
I have been homeless, jobless, taken to collections, talked 3 family members out of suicide, and cried for the first time I can remember. I have been humbled.
Subsequently, I have been attempting to extract life lessons from this year. Most importantly, I have learned to detach my circumstances from Gods love for me. I had to realize that I did nothing to onslaught this tribulation. And In spite of all of this deconstruction and survival, there is a hope that things will improve. And even if they don’t, God is no further from or closer to me then he has ever been. It is only my own stagnation and complacency that cause me to see him deistically.